i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
