literally had 100 drinks last night.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Every concussion has its silver lining
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
