Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
