Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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