Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
