ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
