Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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