Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
