he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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