just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
