So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
