id be glad to
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
