yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
