I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
