it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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