Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
