Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I got inside last night via doggy door
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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