he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
