Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
