I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
