Your tits are I can't wait for
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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