Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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