I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
