is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
