You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
so much tequila, so little girl.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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