I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
