if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
