You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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