He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
