Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
