just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
