It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
