i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
