Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
