I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
this boner is exhausting
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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