U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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