Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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