if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
