Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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