found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
