Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
