did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize