love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
