So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
