chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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