u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
