i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
