Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
