White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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