Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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